Learning How To Fail

Hmm… weird title. I would say so too, but hopefully as you read you will understand what I mean.

Life is tough, life is not fair, there are no free rides, and the list goes on. While all of this is true, it is a simple reality. However, I think now more than ever, people are not desensitized to failure until much later in life. All throughout childhood and adolescence we are protected from failure. Now I will go ahead and say now, that I don’t really know whether this is a good or bad thing overall, because it is a very delicate argument with valid points both ways. I think I stand on what probably is the less popular side in saying that we are sheltered too much and don’t learn the important lesson of how to fail.

Now I am no one to condemn any parent, teacher, coach, etc. for wanting to see everyone succeed, but the fact remains that failure is a part of any progressive society and lifestyle. If we never try anything new we will never expand our horizons and grow. Confidence is a big part of being comfortable and successful, and the best way to get confidence through experience. Often times, to me anyways, experience is a term we use for our failures and our reactions to them.

Now, let me bring this back to earth from a 30,000-foot perspective. As I am starting my career in sales I am quickly beginning to realize that failure is simply a part of the job. I will agree that failure is a negative term, but I’m keeping it simple. Not everyone is going to want to work with me, and there will be cases where things go wrong. I am very hard on myself, and many times I blame myself and take it personally when this happens, which is not healthy. The best thing to do, I am finding, is to learn from each situation and how I can become better at doing my job.

Personally, I think that it would do people some good to be exposed to failure more during education. I think all to often, people are allowed to skate by, when they didn’t earn it through their own hard work. Now, I am not saying that we should give up on them if they don’t make it, but what good are we doing them if we pass them by if they didn’t really earn it? Won’t they then develop an attitude that leads them to believe that it doesn’t matter how hard they try, the result won’t change?

I think even sports are an easy way to humble us and teach us how to learn from failure. Many times I can recall from my youth after a tough loss multiple people saying, “Its ok, you gave it your best, you’re a winner in my book.” I think I would have rather heard, “Well, you worked hard. What could you have done better?” It can be a humbling experience.

There are not winners and losers in life; that is simply a measure of attitude. However, in our roles we play in life, there are winners and losers. One of the differences between the “Outliers” and everyone else is their reaction to their failures, and their passion and practice of their trade.

Through some of the training that I have done I have come to realize that not only is failure a possibility, often times it is a necessity to become better. Since I have taken this I have found on a few occasions that I am much more comfortable going into unfamiliar situations. I give it my best shot, and then reset and figure out what I can do better the next time.

I’m a stickler for quotes, so I’ll leave you with this:

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. "

— Mary Anne Radmacher